There were about 7 of us in the candy aisle stocking shelves on the overnight shift at Target. I was given the opportunity to make some extra money during the busy holiday season. The ministry of Youth With A Purpose was struggling and I needed to pay some bills. I would not take time away from the young people we serve through our various programs so an overnight shift seemed like the perfect time of the day to work. The long hours caused me to lose clarity in my thinking, I'm glad God uses His conviction switch to turn on His current of truth to refresh my clarity when I lose it.
Most of the people on the overnight shift were a lot younger than I was. The pay was only $8.50 an hour and the work was hard. Working overnights can really goof up your sleeping patterns. I would work from 11pm - 7am, sleep a few hours and then visit schools for our Mentoring Program, sleep a few hours and then open our Youth Center from 4pm - 9pm. Sometimes I would be exhausted as I stepped onto the floor to begin the task of replenishing the shelves depleted by the day's sales. I did my best to maintain a positive disposition and be grateful for the opportunity to work. Sometimes I sagged and my thoughts were foggy.
In our Youth Center, we have a saying that goes like this:
"Positive words only are spoken,
negative words make people feel broken."
We do not allow any profanity or curse words or even any negativity. We will ask you to leave for repeated negativity because it is contagious. On my first few days of working overnight, I heard all kinds of language used that we would not allow in our Youth Center. I didn't say anything because I did not have a relationship with these young people and they looked at me as an "over-the-hill outsider." I just tried to smile and say something positive to everyone I met. I asked God to give me wisdom and strength to know more of His purposes for my journey into overnight.
In the candy aisle that night, I was tired. One guy had on a headset with music blaring various expletives including the "F" word. All around me people spoke the same "F" word in almost every sentence. One guy described his dinner that night as: "Man that sh*t was f***ing good as hell." I was shaking my head. Partly in frustration and partly in ignorance, I became slightly tainted by the miry bog of negativity in the candy aisle. I can't remember my exact words but I spoke and the "F" word was in my sentence. Yes, I said the "F" word. It was not in anger or a manner of cursing, it was more of like I was saying: "You guys keep using this word when there is a much more beautiful, kinder and gentler way to talk." But that's not what I said. My communication was my own and not in a manner that reflected God's love.
As soon as the word left my mouth, I felt bad. I felt dirty. I felt tainted. I felt like I had sunk into the negativity of my surroundings. I'm supposed to be light, especially as an older guy. I got dimmed that night in the candy aisle. God used His conviction switch on me. I'm not talking about the switch that's like the cane used to hit people. I'm talking about the switch that turns something on. If I could give words to my thoughts of that night, it would sound like this: "Okay God, I feel like I just blew it. I'm supposed to be light and I became a part of the darkness. I'm sorry, Why am I here? What's Your purpose for me being here?" The conviction switch is located in the pit just below your xiphoid process or the bottom of the middle of your rib cage. It's your gut where you feel in the pit of your stomach. The conviction switch is located in your "soul gut."
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| God is my electrician who keeps me connected with His Spiritual flow. |
The conviction switch in your soul-gut is connected to the voice-mail in your heart. It sends messages to let you know that there is something happening here. As your heart receives the messages about something being amiss, you have the ability to turn on God's satellite dish. He will send you information about the reason your conviction switch has been tripped. Once that connection is made, God will reveal a more excellent way that will turn off your conviction switch.
About 20 minutes after this episode, I was several aisles away from the candy aisle when a co-worker approached me. He said: "God must be trying to tell me something because every aisle I walk down you're here." We had a brief discussion about God and I invited him to have coffee to talk some more. I saw another girl and said: "It's good to see ya!" She asked me why I always said that and I told her she was special. She replied: "I'm not special" I told her that she was special and that God loved all of us the same and made us all equally special." I sang her a song called "Running" which is a rap song about seeing Jesus in everyone you meet.
Everywhere we go we are called to be light. God covers our butts when we sag. The conviction switch is a switch of opportunity that allows us to have the ability to examine sin in our lives. It is a choice.
The conviction switch is God's mechanism for jolting us
with a charge of His life rejuvenating truth.
Thanks for your time. Go do something nice for somebody
JLYASDW
