I Am Not Joseph Kony

DEAR TEACHER - THANK YOU!

Dear Teacher,

I wanted to take a moment and say thank you for laying your life on the line for our children. It would not be feasible for me to travel throughout the Buffalo Schools and drop apples on all your desks. Please allow my words to be like apples of appreciation for all you do for children.

 Being a Teacher is the highest calling of humanity. As a Teacher, you have the most important job on the face of the earth; to bring out the potential in our children. The future success of the student is heavily dependent on your efforts. A Teacher is a Role Model under a microscope. The public puts pressure on you to solve all of the problems of society.  I admire you Dear Teacher and I want to tell you why.

A Teacher is a candle of hope for a child.

The early years of my education regarding Teachers were relatively easy. It was my job to be the class clown and disrupt as many of your classes as possible. The students were laughing when they could have been learning.  Every day my friends and I plotted new ways to disrupt your classroom. When I was having a bad day, I brought my emotional baggage to throw at you. As a Teacher, you were my target. You were a member of the adult world that seemed to forever misunderstand me. We told jokes about you. We seemed to understand that bullying was wrong and yet we would bully you, Dear Teacher.

Laughing, listening and learning. Imagine this guy in your classroom!

The classrooms where I went to school were relatively peaceful in comparison with the classrooms of today. Children receive unprecedented amounts of self destructive information via the Internet. Alcohol, drugs, pornography and gangs are all within easy reach for young people. They bring their destructive habits with them into the classroom. When I stand in a Buffalo School and I ask the class: "How many of you have had friends or relatives that died as a result of  violence?" About 80% raise their hands. When I was in school, I didn't know anybody who died from violence. Children who are touched by violence become fearful and protective of their hearts, That fear often causes them to lash out at someone who wants to help them. A child who is a victim of abuse often becomes the abuser. A Teacher is often abused in the classroom.

A Teacher is a person of passionate compassion.

I read a story a few years ago about wolves. When the pack gets hungry, they have a meeting and identify a member of the caribou herd that is young, disabled or elderly. They then identify one of their own members as the "Slasher." The slasher charges and takes a bite out of the caribou but doesn't kill it. The caribou goes back to the safety of the herd. The next day, the slasher charges again with another vicious attack. Again, the caribou returns to the safety of the herd. Eventually blood loss causes weakness and the caribou loses the will to live. Then the wolf pack closes in to kill the caribou and have their meal. Our children are like that caribou. They come to the safety of the classroom with you Dear Teacher. Then they go home to their neighborhood where the wolves are. An older sister is urging them to get pregnant like them so they can get out of school. The gang promises money, power and sex. A friend dies in a drive-by. A father is absent. A Mother is on drugs. Every day there is another slash until eventually they lose the will to go to school.

A Teacher helps young people climb the mountains of life.

I admire you Dear Teacher for finding the strength to stand there day after day and still believing in the best for our children. I know that sometimes you feel like the caribou that is getting slashed. Persevere, there are better days ahead. Just believe that you are a highly esteemed member of an elite group of world changers called Teachers. When the classroom seems to get dark, remember that the sun rises everyday revealing a new day.

A Teacher provides a warm heart in a cold world.

From my heart to your heart, 

thank you Dear Teacher

 for who you have been, 

who you are and 

who you will become

 as a trusted role model 

for our children.

Thanks for your time. Go do something nice for somebody.

Flashbacks and Weightlifting Part 1

There are many things than cause a person's self esteem to plummet. All of them are rooted in fear. A flashback could be described as;

An adrenalized thought rush that causes a traumatic past event to become vivid and real to the point that the person suffering the flashback seems to be reliving the trauma.

During our Relationship Mentoring Programs with both adults and children, we often encounter fearful behaviors caused by life experiences. This article is designed to facilitate the creation of ideas that will bring understanding and healing to those who suffer from flashbacks. I am not an expert but I do know what flashbacks are from personal experience. I hope that you will share your experiences so that we can all help each other remove the fear of flashbacks.

A flashback is an eye sore in your soul.

I believe that there are 5 main truths about flashbacks:

1. A flashback is rooted in fear.
2. We can remove the root of fear.
3. We cannot remove the memory.
4. We can move the memory out of fear.
5. We need to reach out and allow people to help us lift our weights.

A tank full of positive affirmations and self belief can blast away at fear.

 For anything in life to grow, there must be brokenness. The farmer must break the ground to sow his seed. A mother's water will break before her baby enters the world from her womb. A heart breaks many times over a natural lifetime. If a law is broken there will be punishment. Traumatic memories are caused by the breaking of a moral code. Call it an evil transgression against something that was created as good. Even if you don't believe in God, I'm pretty sure that most folks would agree that a baby doesn't jump out of the womb and say: "I'm evil! I'm going to spend my life doing things to people that will cause them to have flashbacks for life!"  I believe that all human beings are born with an innate goodness. We are inherently endowed with a moral code that guides us in our decision making. Somehow fear entered the equation.

Fear is the root of flashbacks and roots can be pulled.

A draw bridge has the ability to lift fear out of the bad memory.

 The original cause of any trauma is fear. Thoughts of fear attract fearful people and fearful actions. Picture yourself walking in a dangerous part of town and you are afraid that you might get robbed. You start thinking to yourself: "I hope I don't get robbed! I hope I don't get robbed! I hope I don't get robbed!" What do you think is going to happen to you? YOU ARE GOING TO GET ROBBED! Your thoughts of fear make you appear vulnerable to the robber and you are viewed as an easy target. Somewhere along the way the moral code of the robber was broken and the trauma in his life now causes him to create trauma in the lives of other people. This cycle of repeated trauma is acted out through wounded people who have not been healed from abuse or addiction. Do you recognize these patterns:

• The bullied becomes the bully.
• The sexually abused becomes the abuser.
• The child of the alcoholic becomes an alcoholic.
• The child of a gang member becomes a gang member.
• The emotionally and verbally abused becomes the abuser.

Will you focus on the barbed wire or the blue sky?

Slavery is a bad memory that should never be forgotten

   

 If you are serious about breaking the flashback fear in your life,

REPEAT THIS OUT LOUD RIGHT NOW:

"I DON'T HAVE TO BE WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME!"

"WHAT WAS DONE TO ME DOES NOT DEFINE ME."

"I AM A GOOD AND VALUABLE PERSON
DESIGNED TO GIVE AND RECEIVE LOVE
IN THE MOST EXCELLENT WAY."

By removing fear we can create a Peace Bridge to traumatic memories.

Miss Andrzejewski: Librarian of Love

The Youth With A Purpose Relationship Mentoring Program is thriving in Buffalo School #6. We meet in the Library on the 2nd Floor in a school with a 95% poverty rate. There is no poverty of love in the Library. The room is beautifully maintained which is a tribute to both the Custodial Staff and the Librarian - Miss Andrzejewski. She is affectionately referred to as "Miss A" by students and staff. The YWAP Program is a better program because of Miss A.

If there were a Librarian Hall of Fame, Miss A should be the first inductee

Every time I have walked into the Library, Miss A has never failed to ask me if I need anything. She will stop what she is doing and set up her own computer for me to use during our Mentoring Session. She patiently waits for me to give her my class materials so she can get them ready for use through the computer system. When she is done, she never fails to ask if I need anything else and then she goes back to all of her other duties.

I have watched her sit on the floor with younger children and bring books alive through reading to them. I have watched her patience as she helps children find books. The Library can be a busy place but a patient Librarian can make it a place of love. She shows respect to everyone and that is a hallmark of somebody you can trust. Her commitment to excellence is contagious. The children and staff can feel her love. But that is just the small picture.  

She also visits another school and spreads seeds of love with the children and staff in that building. That's another part of the small picture. Here is the big picture: Miss Andrzejewski is changing the world through one act of love at a time. YWAP carries her acts of love to other schools throughout the City of Buffalo and into our Youth Center. The students carry her acts of love back into their neighborhoods. The staff carry her acts of love into their homes. The world is a more loving place because Miss A has walked through our lives. Thank you Miss Andrzejewski for creating a Bright Spot for children and their families.

Buffalo School 6 is school of excellence with a Librarian who shows love in a more excellent way.

The Anvil of Compassion #1

Compassion could be described as empathy combined with an overwhelming desire to alleviate the suffering of another human being. A dictionary would call compassion a noun but it seems more like a verb of action to me. The reason it's probably considered a noun is that compassion is based on the desire to alleviate suffering and not the actual alleviation.

Are people compassionate because they feel another person's pain and they feel a desire to do something about it? How do we turn that into compassionate action?
 
I have an idea in my spirit for something called the Anvil of Compassion. I have a lot of praying and meditating to do on that but I thought I would share it with you and possibly glean your thoughts. The idea comes from the transference of energy from the hammer into the object being shaped against the resistance of the anvil. We need resistance to become stronger. Compassion to me is an empathetic reaction to the misery (or hardness) of another life.

Life is be hard. A hammer and heat can shape us into something useful.

 

 

 

I'm asking myself some questions and I'm inviting you to question yourself and any young people that you might be teaching:

•  Is empathy the hammer that shapes compassion against the hardness of life? 
•  How can we create compassion muscles in our young people? 
• Are we the the hammer that shapes compassion?
•  Is the hardness of heart the anvil or the object being shaped?
• What are the roots of compassion?
• What are acts of compassion?
• Is compassion a teachable habit?
• Can we create a compassionate school or city or neighborhood or family?
• What are the attributes of a compassionate person?
• When does compassion allow suffering to make a person stronger?

As we answer these questions, let's make a commitment to be as compassionate to others as we would expect them to be compassionate to us.

Thanks for your time. Go do something nice for somebody.

Bob

The Mentor Serves Detention

"One of the students gave me her cup of grapes from her lunch."

 
It was 11:15am and the Reflection Room was open for business. All of the students at Buffalo School #94 who were given Detention for their Infractions would serve their time in the Reflection Room. I was the first Infractor to arrive in the Reflector Room. Soon the other Infractors appeared with their lunch trays. They smiled as they saw me and took their seats.

Mr. Pegg turned on his classical music which included some delightful piano concertos and several opera songs. One of the students gave me her cup of grapes from her lunch. We were not allowed to talk so I opened my Bible to read. I read a verse that said: "Jesus spoke these words..." I was thinking that if Jesus had detention in this Reflection Room that he wouldn't be allowed to speak any words! Of course would Jesus ever get detention? Yeah, probably if he went to a Pharisee School! After reading a bit, I closed my eyes and just let the music float through me.

My peaceful state was briefly interrupted by the boy behind me who belched, LOUDLY! I heard the girl in front of me say: "Mr. Bob is the only one who is being good." I was the only silent one anyway. Most of the other Infractors were not Reflecting. They were busy trying to talk and make other noises. They were fidgeting with an enormous amount of pent up energy. I was content to relax and be quiet, although I am not a teenager either. I really did want to goof around and have fun but I thought it would be best to remain in a role model mode. Our Reflection time ended and all the smiling people went on about their day.

The students are learning that small actions can cause large results.

 After Detention, Mr. Pegg was kind enough to rearrange his schedule to allow me to facilitate our Relationship Mentoring Program during the next class. We covered compassion, homelessness, gangs, recidivism and a few other items that were on the students minds. We love Power Moment Mentoring. We mentor in the moment of the students mindset. Whatever they are thinking about at the present moment becomes our topic of discussion.

Studying history can help students prepare for a better future.

Buffalo School #94 is preparing students for the future in proactive way. Relationship Mentoring helps students become ready and willing participants with their Teachers in the classroom.

Thanks for your time. Go do something nice for somebody.

Bob Kuebler
Youth With A Purpose Inc.
716-830-8240
ywapbuffalo@yahoo.com